How to Deal With Bullies – Part Three – How Not to Be a Target

Welcome to part three in our series of How to Deal With Bullies. Here you will learn “How Not to Be a Target.”

One of the most important things that you can do and that you parents can instill in your children is to have confidence.

If you have confidence, you can do anything. Stand and walk with confidence. Don’t walk staring at the ground slouched over. Keep your shoulders back and your head high. If a bully sees you standing and walking confidently, you will be much less of a target.  There is a good chance he will pass you by and look for easier prey. When you do walk by someone who is a bully, look him in the eye. Be careful not to give a dirty look that could come across as a challenge. Simply look, acknowledge their presence (maybe nod your head or even say hi) and walk confidently past them.

Something else you can do is display confidence when you speak. If you talk in a soft wimpy voice, you may become a target. When you speak, do so in a firm voice, not overbearing, annoying or fake, but with confidence. When you shake someone’s hand, don’t let your hand be a wet noodle. Simply give a two or three second firm handshake. You have to choose to become confident and you have to practice at being confident. It gets easier the more you do it. Don’t be afraid, have courage. Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather it’s being afraid and choosing to do what is right anyway.

Most of the time a bully will start with some sort of verbal attack. If your reaction is one of fear, whining or crying then the bully has achieved his purpose. Then the bullying will most likely escalate and become more frequent. Don’t give the bully that satisfaction. Instead, stand up tall with your shoulders back and head up high. Tell him in a firm confident voice to stop what he is doing. You don’t have to threaten him with an “or else.” That could be more trouble. Make your declaration and in most cases turn and walk away. Again, there is a good chance he will look for easier prey.

Ok – what do you do if it gets physical? This becomes more complex. If you are an adult, you can seek legal protection. If you are in school, bullying should always be reported to teachers, principals, etc. The most important people to tell are your parents. Keep the communication flowing.

Obviously the big question is – should I fight back? Many school districts have a zero tolerance for any kind of fighting. Even if you are the victim, you will most likely get suspended or expelled. This is a consequence that you need to be aware of should you choose to fight back. Ask your parents what they think you should do. That is the first place you should start when looking for an answer.

I personally believe that if you are in physical danger you have every right to defend yourself. But again, young people talk to your parents.

Be sure to check out Part Four – Boundaries. Thanks for reading.