How to Deal With Bullies – Part Two – Types of Bullies

Welcome to part two in the series of How to Deal With Bullies where we will address the different types of bullies. It really comes down to just two – Verbal and Physical or a combination of both.

There are however a variety of categories that fall under those two types. This is not an all inclusive list, but bullying includes: intimidation, manipulation, threats, yelling, dirty looks, physical violence, cyber-bullying and a host of others.

Let’s look at the Verbal Bullying for a moment. An example would be teasing someone who wears glasses, or making fun of someone for the way they look or dress or their hairstyle. Teasing can produce a reaction in the victim which often leads to further or more intense bullying. More examples are name calling, spreading lies and starting rumors.  How about racial slurs or discrimination because of ethnicity, religion or economic status? How about lying to stay out of trouble and make it look like the problem is the victim’s fault? Yelling, screaming and demanding one’s way are also forms of verbal bullying.

Now parents, are you guilty of verbally bullying your children? Do you ever say something like – “You better do this or else?” That is a threat, plain and simple. You are trying to get your kids to obey by manipulation. There are much better words you can choose to have your children obey. I will address that in other posts, but I just want you to understand that as a parent we should not resort to threats to get our children to do what we want them to do. Otherwise when they are with their siblings or friends, they will imitate our behavior. We don’t want to create bullies in our household. See part one in this series.

Physical Bullying is not just getting punched in the nose, kicked, pushed or having your books knocked out of your hands. It may be using your size in an intimidating manner. It can include dirty looks, slamming your hand on the table or raising your voice threateningly. Standing in someone’s way, hurting an animal or destroying someone’s property with the intent of hurting the victim are all forms of physical bullying.

Cyber-Bullying.  I need to address this specifically. This is a huge problem, especially for teens. Cyber-Bullying is when someone posts a picture, video or says something on some type of social network or through an email with the intent to hurt or intimidate another person.  Cyber-bullying has contributed to many teens suicides, school shootings and other tragic events. Parents – if your kids have social network accounts or email, you need to be their “friend on facebook” and have complete access including passwords to all of them.  That way you can hopefully catch something before it gets out of hand. They live in your house, they need to follow your rules.

Hopefully you are getting an understanding of the different types of bullies. These days it goes way beyond the standard school yard bully. In part three we will cover “How Not to be a Target.” Stay tuned.