• Top 5 Things to do to Totally Ruin your Relationship with your Kids, to have Rebellious Teens and to have them NEVER Listen to you. (and HOW to Change That in 5 Easy Steps.)

  • Ok, confession time.

    Last night coming home from karate, a dim light shown in the darkness as we drove up the hill, getting ever brighter as we got closer to our house…. Yes, it was coming from our bedroom.  Who in the world would be in our bedroom?  Coming into the house, living room lights on, all 6 kitchen lights on, master bedroom light on, mmm… Oh yeah, my 14 year old son stayed home.  Why were all the lights on?  Aren’t we living on a budget?  Doesn’t he know how much it costs to light up a room?  We aren’t trying to make Black Hills Electric rich, are we?  These are all questions I blasted to my dumbfounded son.  Yes, I never said “Hi.”  I never smiled.  I didn’t even inquire “How was your night?”  No, all I thought about was…(cringe)… ME!

    This is what started my mind racing about how to improve my relationship with my kids.  I’ve always strove to have a good relationship with them.  Spending a lot of time with them, listening, caring, teaching, loving, hugging, praying for them have all been a top priority of my life.  But sometimes the “other mom” that’s practical, driven by common sense rules the world comes out, and it isn’t very pretty but I’m working on it!

    Here you go: Top Five Things to totally be an awful parent (and how to solve them)

    1.  Don’t acknowledge that your kids are humans.  They are “beings” (kind of like aliens) that live in our house and eat all our food and complain “There’s nothing to eat!”
    -They are, aren’t they, I mean, human? Sometimes we forget they are people just like you and me.  The Golden Rule applies here – Do to others as you would want them to do to you.  We reap what we sow – totally – with our kids, if we are kind to them, they will be kind to us.

    2.  Don’t ever listen to them.  Always tell them your “two cents”.  Because they really don’t know anything, right?  They’re just kids.
    -Wrong!  The number one need they have is for parents to just listen and to have empathy towards their concerns.  Isn’t that what you and I really want?

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    3.  Consider all your needs above your kids’ needs.  I mean, yes, electricity costs a lot.  Another glass of milk?  Really??  Stop talking.  I need quiet.  I need my space.  I need, I need, I need.
    -Stop and think about what our kids might need.  It might just be a smile and a hug.

    4.  I am sooo busy right now.  I will be with you in a minute.  Hold on, I’m on the phone.  Just a second.  I have to finish this one thing.  Oh, sorry, I ran out of time.  I will play that game with you tomorrow.  Never take time to be with your kids, it is a total waste of time.
    -Time flies, doesn’t it?  Pretty soon your oldest son is married to a beautiful lady and has a son.  Really??  If we don’t make time – purposely – to spend with our kids, they will be gone, before we know it. I have NEVER one time regretted the time I’ve spent with my kids.  I have, however, regretted the times I have been too busy.

    5.  I wish my kids were different, more obedient, more talented, more focused, more disciplined.  Don’t accept them the way they are.  Keep wishing they are different- more like the neighbor’s kids.  Why can’t my kids be like that?
    – Your kids are perfect just the way they are.  God made them totally 100% unique and special.  Embrace their qualities and see the talents that are budding in their young lives.  Those are the things that will make them successful for their future.  Never stifle their uniqueness but let it grow.  Most importantly, let them know you are crazy about them just the way they are.

    Ok… I totally am preaching to myself.  I think I might read this every day for a month and work on each one.  If these things are ready on my mind I hopefully won’t have another night like Monday.

    Totally committed to the success of your family,
    Michelle